| | Something To Make You Smile | |
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countrybelle2004 Admin
Join date : 2009-11-26 Age : 49
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Thu Feb 18, 2010 11:11 pm | |
| Shamashe told me about this earlier: She saw a church bulletin partially buried in snow with this message: "Whoever is praying for snow, please stop!" That tickled me so much when I read that from her. lol | |
| | | mohala MOD.
Join date : 2009-12-01 Age : 62
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:12 am | |
| YES PLEASE STOP. WE ARE BURIED IN HERE!!! That's to fuuny!!! | |
| | | flipper09 Admin1
Join date : 2009-12-30 Age : 53
| Subject: Something to Make You Smile Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:43 am | |
| That is funny!! I was told another storm is coming, and I am ready for spring!!! The snow is pretty and all, but enough is enough!...lol | |
| | | Shamashe Member.
Join date : 2010-01-02 Age : 67
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Fri Feb 19, 2010 4:33 pm | |
| What Love means to a 4-8 year old . .
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds ,
'What does love mean?'
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined
See what you think:
'When my grandmother got arthritis , she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time , even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca- age 8
'When someone loves you , the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him , to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing , you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
'If you want to learn to love better , you should start with a friend who you hate , '
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt , then he wears it everyday..'
Noelle - age 7
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well..'
Tommy - age 6
'During my piano recital , I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling....
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8
'My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6
'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford .'
Chris - age 7
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'
Mary Ann - age 4
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4
'When you love somebody , your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'
Mark - age 6
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it , you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8 And the final one
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry , the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard , climbed onto his lap , and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor , the little boy said ,
'Nothing , I just helped him cry' | |
| | | mohala MOD.
Join date : 2009-12-01 Age : 62
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:58 pm | |
| Awww... Now that's love for real. I tell you children make us wake up and smell the coffee don't they? | |
| | | mohala MOD.
Join date : 2009-12-01 Age : 62
| | | | countrybelle2004 Admin
Join date : 2009-11-26 Age : 49
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Wed Feb 24, 2010 11:05 am | |
| I love that Mohala. That really is true. Those were the days! Our local paper runs a popular column called "10 Questions" that spotlights people who live in our community.
In addition to the usual inquiries about occupation and age, people are asked the questions that give a snapshot look of their personalities.
Recently one woman was asked, "What's the 'strangest' thing you ever bought?"
She answered, "Dog toothpaste."
Next question, "What is the 'most common' thing people say to you?"
Her answer: "Where did you get such white teeth?" | |
| | | mohala MOD.
Join date : 2009-12-01 Age : 62
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Thu Feb 25, 2010 8:56 am | |
| Alrighty then!!!! That's a good one!!! | |
| | | flipper09 Admin1
Join date : 2009-12-30 Age : 53
| Subject: Something to make you smile Thu Feb 25, 2010 9:07 am | |
| That post about the "drugs" is very true and I fully agree that if that were the case, this country would be better! That is the way my parents did things, and we were taught that same way. The one about the toothpaste was funnY! | |
| | | countrybelle2004 Admin
Join date : 2009-11-26 Age : 49
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Thu Feb 25, 2010 9:43 am | |
| I know, I have sent the Drug one to almost everyone I know. lol
I'm going to try to print it out and put it on my fridge. Maybe my kids will get the hint. lol Kids think we exaggerate when we say those kinds of things.
My 17 yr. old son mouthed off at me a couple weeks ago and I told him he was lucky that his grandfather was not around or not his dad because he would be picking himself up from the hallway floor at the other end of the house. Kids have way to much lieniency. (sp?) They really have it made. I have always thought that I would never want my kids treated the way my father was to my brother and I but now that I look at it, I wonder if that's not the problem with our kids today. But you have to be careful even spanking your children today. People blow things out of proportion so much. I'm not talking about abuse, just an old fashioned spanking. I don't spank often, I'm more of a take things away mom. But, I think I made a big mistake in that area. My kids get spankings but not often, rarely actually.
I had a neighbor call the law on me a couple years back for spanking my son, who was then 10 yrs old. The cops came out and tried to crucify me for "using a weapon to spank my child", as the neighbor put it.
The cop told me that spankings are allowed with you HAND on their BOTTOM. That using an instrument could get me arrested. I laughed at him and told him I didn't think so. I went in and got the "weapon" that I used to spank my child. (For stealing, by the way.) I told him that the only way he's arresting me is if he arrests every principal at every school that has ever given a child a spanking with a government regulated, school paddle....which is exactly what I was using. The very same, even got it from a school catalog when I was subbing. You know what he said? "Have a good day, maam."
The neighbor was mad! lol She was just a nosy old crow who never had a kid and knew nothing about them. She called DHS when that didn't work. They came out, we went through the story again. Of course that was not needed because the lady that came was a good friend of mine. I even helped her do parenting classes for DHS for parents trying to get their kids back, and people who were wanting to become foster parents. These kind of people, back to my point, are the reason you can hardly discipline your children today. Parents are scared of family services. To be honest, there is no reason to be unless you are out right beating them. People fear them but they are a lot less powerful than people know. They threaten alot, and bluff those who don't know what they are and are not allowed to do. But the fear of losing your kids is very real because they will use that threat as a power play. It is my opinion, (and I am the mother of 5, stepmother of 4 (9 kids), that parents are the reason children are the way they are. Some won't discipline, some are scared to death to discipline. But still, we give our kids to much for nothing, and let them get away with to much. I am the worlds worst about this, according to my husband. lol In defense of the law..I am thankful for family services. There are too many who do need to be set straight about discipline. There are to many children who are physically, sexually, and emotionally abused who do need someone to speak up for them. I am thankful that those children do have a voice though. | |
| | | countrybelle2004 Admin
Join date : 2009-11-26 Age : 49
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Thu Feb 25, 2010 10:24 am | |
| Okay, I got serious in the Something to make you smile thread. Sorry! What's for Dinner? The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied. "Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?" "Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.'" | |
| | | mohala MOD.
Join date : 2009-12-01 Age : 62
| | | | mohala MOD.
Join date : 2009-12-01 Age : 62
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Fri Feb 26, 2010 9:21 am | |
| Funny picture. Well this might not be funny to some.But you have to admit it will get your attention though
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| | | countrybelle2004 Admin
Join date : 2009-11-26 Age : 49
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Fri Feb 26, 2010 10:04 am | |
| Well, at least they didn't were straight up about it. lol | |
| | | flipper09 Admin1
Join date : 2009-12-30 Age : 53
| Subject: Something to make you smile Fri Feb 26, 2010 10:49 am | |
| That's funny!!! I can see where some people would not be happy seeing that. I'm the kind that would probably be laughing. Life's too short to take everything seriously. | |
| | | Shamashe Member.
Join date : 2010-01-02 Age : 67
| Subject: calories Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:27 am | |
| I thought this was funny - no religious implications implied for those who care.
Subject: calories
>In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated >the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, and green, yellow and >red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and >healthy lives. > > >Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream >and Krispy Crème Donuts. And Satan said "You want chocolate with that?"
>and Man said "Yes!" and Woman said "and while you're at it add some >sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled. > > >And God created the healthful yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure >that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the >wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from >size 6 to size 14. > > >So God said "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented >Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the >side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast. > > >God then said "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil >in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and >chicken and fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man >gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. > > >God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Cake" and >said "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it >"Devil's Food". > >God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose >those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so >Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman >laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds. > > >Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming >with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the >starchy >centre into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds. > > >God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and >still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its £1 >double cheeseburger. Then said "You want fries with that?" and >Man replied >"Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said "it is good." And Man >went into >cardiac arrest. > > >God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. > >Then Satan created the National Health Service. | |
| | | countrybelle2004 Admin
Join date : 2009-11-26 Age : 49
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Wed Mar 03, 2010 10:09 am | |
| Sometimes it feels like the healthcare system can be the devil to deal with that's for sure. Planting Time A prisoner in jail received a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some vegetables in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money."
A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "You won't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house and dug up all the back garden."
The prisoner wrote another letter: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the vegetables."
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| | | mohala MOD.
Join date : 2009-12-01 Age : 62
| | | | countrybelle2004 Admin
Join date : 2009-11-26 Age : 49
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Thu Mar 04, 2010 11:28 am | |
| I would be like Miss Congeniality....when they put her in heels and she keeps falling. lol I can handle heels, but those look rough. lol | |
| | | mohala MOD.
Join date : 2009-12-01 Age : 62
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Wed Mar 10, 2010 5:52 pm | |
| Girl those look pass rough on the way to life endangering or something. I would break my neck just putting them on and standing up in them. (lo) | |
| | | Shamashe Member.
Join date : 2010-01-02 Age : 67
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Thu Mar 11, 2010 3:05 am | |
| I just saw this - how high are they? like 5 inches? Ok, I must confess, when I was younger - a lot younger, I got up to 4 inches once in a fashion show. Now, mind you, I'm now just under 6 ft. tall, so then, I was Wonder Woman! I saw a "top model" show once, where the girls had to walk in high, high heels with platforms - they walked like I would think these boots would make you walk - falling down a lot. Well, maybe the plastic coating would be stiff enough to hold you up :-)) cute! | |
| | | mohala MOD.
Join date : 2009-12-01 Age : 62
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Thu Mar 11, 2010 2:36 pm | |
| There's not that much plastic in the world. Im permanently broke from high, high heels. | |
| | | Shamashe Member.
Join date : 2010-01-02 Age : 67
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Thu Mar 11, 2010 7:40 pm | |
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| | | Shamashe Member.
Join date : 2010-01-02 Age : 67
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Fri Mar 12, 2010 7:26 pm | |
| Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire... Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. | |
| | | mohala MOD.
Join date : 2009-12-01 Age : 62
| Subject: Re: Something To Make You Smile Sun Mar 14, 2010 4:29 pm | |
| And you know, those are the laws of life. Funny but true. I thought this was short and cute.On the way back from a Cub Scouts meeting, my grandson asked my son the question. "Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?" he asked innocently. After my son hemmed and hawed for a while, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust. "You don't have to make something up, Dad. It's okay if you don't know the answer." | |
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